Manhunt places official badges on health profiles

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MyBlackBook popularity grows

I blogged this a while back, but it is really nice to see MyBlackBook catching on. 2032+ people have signed up to keep track of their sex lives. The site makes its purpose very clear:

"What happens if you find out you have an STD? How do you know who to notify? Well, some people, both male and female keep track of whom they have slept with either in a little diary or notebook. However, this has always posed a security flaw - what if someone finds it?? Well, MyBlackBook has solved that problem by creating The Internet's First Secure and Confidential Online Sexual History Tracker!"


It's free to sign up, and easy to add an entry or session. The pull down menus are pretty rigid in some categories (like you have to be male or female and either straight, bi or gay), but the each entry also gives plenty of room for embellishing, including over a dozen "activities" to select that you tried and also nearly a dozen sexual positions to choose from.

Two extra features stand out on this site.

1. VDNote provides a risk assessment as a percent chance that you will acquire each listed STI based on your personal entries. After entering one fictitious unprotected encounter where I "had anal sex" I had a 2.91% chance of getting herpes, 0.01% chance of getting syphilis, etc. Therhttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gife is a disclaimer, which I was relieved to see. I think the idea might help some realize their risk for STIs in general, but cannot paint a realistic picture of what to worry about. The site also does not mention HIV/AIDS.

2. Graphs provide a visual representation of your monthly sexual activity, hourly sexual activity (as in do you do it at night or in the morning?) and a pie chart of the sexual positions that you do. If these were constructed differently, or addressed different aspects of the sex you're having, then they could be better risk management tools. As they are now, they might just state the obvious right back to you. For example: yes I like 'reverse cowgirl' and yes, I like it in the morning.

The forums hold some gems, but the site could really pack a punch if they also talked about what to do with all the saved info if/when you do get an STI. I am making the suggestion to them. This is their chance to reach this particular record-keeping group.

Check out the press release.

Update: MyBlackBook now links to InSPOT.org. Yay!

inSPOT adds FL, NYC, MN, Seattle and Toronto

We've been busy at ISIS that last few months replicating inSPOTs, our peer to peer online partner notification system for STIs and HIV.

New to the list are Florida, New York City, Minnesota, Seattle and Toronto.

For those of you unfamiliar with inSPOT, the service has two main features.
1. If you test positive for an STI or HIV, you can send an e-card, anonymous or not, to your partner(s) who you may have exposed.
2. The e-card recipient is linked directly to a map of local clinics and detailed information about the infectious agent that they may have been exposed to.

What does it take to make an inSPOT you ask?

• We verify every clinic's hours of operation, location, services, fees, populations served, insurance details and tests offered by phone to make sure that it is up to date and reliable for e-card recipients (or anyone who uses inSPOT to locate a clinic).
• We create a custom map searchable by zip code/postal code, county/province and by region.
• We compile an area specific resource list for each new area.
• Other tech-y details of course
  

Will the list keep growing?

• There are 5 more in the pipes. Your area may be next.

It is important to understand that the e-cards can be used by anyone in any jurisdiction. For the recipient not located in a city/state there are alternative ways to find clinics in your area.

In CA, the California Family Health Council (CFHC) list title X clinics searchable by zip code. Title X is the only federal program devoted to provision of family planning and reproduction health care. Title X clinics provide patient education and counseling; breast and pelvic exams; STD, HIV and cervical cancer screenings; and pregnancy counseling and diagnosis.

For STI testing outside of CA, if title X status doesn't matter to you, or if you rather talk to a person call the CDC hotline:

(800) 342-2437 or (800) 227-8922 for English,

(800) 344-7432 for Spanish or

(800) 243-7889 for TTY service.

The wait isn't that long and I got three reliable clinic referrals when I called.

For HIV testing:
HIVTest.org is the CDCs HIV testing clinic finder. Searchable by city, county, state, zip code, and type of testing offered (oral, anonymous, confidential, free). Very comprehensive.

CheckTonight.com - hookup insurance?

CheckTonight.com is hooking up with online dating sites to provide negative test result verification. Well, so far, the list of participating sites isn't that impressive (Atomicmen being the biggest). While the move to do this among dating sites is good, there are some definite issues. It is also a bit disappointing that the group taking this plunge seems to vilify, if only slightly, anyone who may already be positive, with the prominent text: "Show You Tested Negative for HIV and Optionally Other STDs." It also offers zero mention of window periods.

Here's what signing up was like for me:
1. First join a lesser known hookup site (ha!)
2. Register at CheckTonight.com. (which includes downloading and faxing a HIPAA form).
3. Find a suitable place to get tested (you can use their search tool, or see a private doc).
4. If you choose one of the Labcorp testing sites, pick which tests you want. Here's the kicker for the insurance-less:
Full panel: HIV, herpes, Hepc, chlamydia, gonnorhea, syphilis $369!!Or you can choose specific ones. Syphilis alone is the cheapest at $32, chlamydia/gonorrhea is $174. And so on...
5. Then sign another HIPAA form releasing CheckTonight.com to receive your test results. (It's okay for minors to use the service, but an adult is supposed to sign the form, electronically though).
6. Enter credit card info, billing address.
7. I didn't go any further...but you get the point. A lot of steps.

Here's the list of steps in their words.

So what is promised after your test results are faxed back to CheckTonight.com?
1. Positive results are not kept or posted anywhere. A nice list of resources are given.
2. Negative results receive a badge (including test date) that can be posted on a very select list of dating sites, or a social networking site that accepts html (I'm assuming that it is a basic html badge).


So, my two cents are:
Can the badges be stolen, doctored and repasted elsewhere?
Why not encourage HIV+ folks to test for STDs?

I would love to hear comments about this from readers...

Update: Atomicmen has gone out on a limb to try something that some of us in public health have been asking for for a long time. Checktonight is imperfect, but Atomicmen's attitude and willingness to improve is on target:

"...CheckTonight ... is willing to work with Atomicmen on making the site more friendly so any feedback is welcome. I appreciate all feedback and knowledge and would encourage anyone to help in the education of those who are not understanding of anyones "fears", but that door swings both ways. I think that direct reaction to something with out investigation can also be fear based and should allow for the passing back and forth of ideas to make sites like CheckTonight more approachable to those who seem offended. Andrew at CheckTonight is willing to work with organizations to make his organization more open and honest in it's presentation..."

Dotmen.net - man hunting tools of the future

The STOP AIDS Project, a San Francisco fixture since 1985, is dedicated to preventing HIV transmission among gay and bisexual men. Yesterday marked the launch of their new website Dotmen.net.

Feeding off their recent realignment towards a more structural approach, Dotmen.net provides tools for finessing your online hunt, tips for staying safe when hooking up (including from identity theft and muggings), and commentary about trends and language in the hookup world.

Hookinguponline.org, an older ISIS project, is decidedly less gadget based, and offers hookup safety gems in brief a slide show. The site was an adaptation from image-based print materials, which speaks to the image based presentation.

Regardless of approach, both sites aim to help folks who hookup online make better choices. For the more tech savvy crowd, increased search capability could help you find the sharpest needle in the haystack. For the cruisers without a minute to spare, Hookinguponline.org has all the tidbits you need to keep you on your toes.

Hooking up online - some quirky truth(s)

I've been following two (one queer and one gay) Massachusetts bloggers, both ultra candid about their experiences with online dating and sex. Their blogs are embedded in the Massmen.net site, a UCSF and ISIS joint project.

So now, let me share my favorite entries from these two spill-it-alls:






Priests, bathrooms, etc. Vlad Junior is a good read all around.

Holy Porn - Gay.com Priest hookup
Bathroom break
Bathroom break 2
My hookup and my dad - a real tear jerker
Uncle, Nephew, different times - need i say more







Oh Daniel. Daniel and his boyfriend have been trying out and open relationship.

Relationshit! The Victor and Daniel intro
Suck my dick in a bathroom
Relationsigns (cartoons!)
Polyamory here I come Victor and Daniel update
Webcam boy Part 1

More STI hookup site reviews as promised

A while back I wrote a post with some short reviews of dating sites for folks with viral STIs. As promised, I'm back with 3 more STI dating sites. In order from good to shouldn't exist, here are three more:

MatchSTD.com
I like this free site for many reasons. Like most hookup sites, MatchSTD.com has a clause asking married individuals to please not use the service. Yet, unlike most hookup sites, STI* and non-STI focused alike, MatchSTD has an exception for people "participating in an alternative-style relationships." It also has a downhome feeling to its general language, probably b/c it is run by just 2 guys (both of whom admit that they don't have any STDs themselves but have friends whose dating lives suffered severely). One thing I couldn't figure out though was how to select United States as my location...perhaps it's a default, but that wasn't clear to me.

Positivelove.com
This site looks really nice (nicer than MatchSTD), but the profile logic is a bit wierd. When you go to sign up you select what your are, as in your gender. Then there's a drop down menu for "I am with," which is actually the list of possible STIs. Like STDMatch (not to be confused with MatchSTD) it lists chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis. Okay, folks, once again, these are CURABLE! They are not chronic-have-for-the-rest-of-your-life STIs. Get some antibiotics and THEN get a date. Jeez! Another thing that was a bit funky was the "My match" drop down menu. You can only select one answer and the choices include: American, Baptist, mediterranean, hispanic/latino, etc. "Are you American? I only date citizens." Whatever. Strange.

H-date.com ("time to start dating again..." is their tagline)
H-date is herpes focused, although there is some mention of HPV. Oddly, the terms and services section says, "You further represent and warrant that you are 13 years of age or older and that your use of the H-Date.com will not violate any applicable law." 13 years old on a dating site even if you're not breaking any laws? I went on to check out how profiles are built and saw that it includes the option to check boxes such as, "I can have sex with a good looking stranger anytime" or "I'll sleep with anyone who wants me." So while I applaud their acknowledgement that young people have sex, they should be doing something to ensure that young people meeting on their site are just having sex with other young people. At least setting up their search logic differently. Another large oversight is that a person of any age can say they 'prefer' a 13 yo. Oops.

*I tend to use "STD" because it's what CA state STD control still uses, the CDC uses, etc. There has been a move among health professionals and public health communities to use STI (sexually transmitted infection) for several reasons. 1. An infection is much less stigmatized than a disease. 2. Many STIs have no symptoms. People may be infected, but are not 'diseased.' I am constantly corrected when I use 'STD' and am trying to change. This * will help me remember.

"DRNK. FLNG CRZY,HOT,NKD. U?"

So we all catch on at a different speeds...especially with technology. Mark Morford's article in the SF Chronicle today titled "Wanna hook up? Let your thumbs do the dialing," made me laugh, but the way he wrote about SEXINFO, an ISIS project, did not.

It is no surprise that text messaging is used like other forms of communication to bring people together, be it for a drink, a meeting, or sex. Have a gander:

"The trends now appear and disappear so quickly, nothing is really definitive or permanent or actually essential to know. It's all just a shifting throbbing mutating gob of gizmo and sex and desire and potential heartbreak, pouring over the culture like some sort of sticky bittersweet Wi-Fi-enabled honey. Same as it ever was, just with fewer vowels and lots more tendinitis."

"And so maybe I can simply wait for the next wave, the next mode of hot tech hookup whateverthehellitis, which I imagine will be arriving any second now, if not sooner. Instant cell phone video clips? Bluetooth-enabled pineal gland implants? Viagra misters/thong detectors in the new iPhone? We'll just have to see. Can someone please text me when it arrives?"

I think the twitters, the dodgeballs, and the justintvs will have their year in the sun. Text messaging is different. It's like a landline, like a computer, like a TTY. The way we use it will change, but the tool has stuck.

Hookingup and gaming meet in Naughty America

Nick Yee, in The Daedalus Project , wrote about his research into online relationship development in games (mostly in World of Warcraft) in a post called The Impossible Romance. What's really interesting here are the comments. I highly recommend spending some time reading folks' comparisons of meeting online versus meeting in real life.

Along the same lines, Naughty America has done what we've (or gamers looking for dates) have all been waiting for. Now here's a game (launching sometime this summer) where you design a character, rearrange and decorate your bedroom to get ready for some action, cruise around in different neighborhoods, etc. So it's kind of similar to other games like Second Life in that there's chat between avatars, but in Naughty America, each character has a real dating profile. So when you meet someone online, you can have virtual sex with them and move on from there. There are even sexual position choices.

Bonnie of Bonnie's Heroine Sheik blogged it too, specifically the reluctance of the game makers to admit it is in fact a sex game! I was surprised to see that like True.com, Naughty America will submit game players to background checks.

Is it True.com that you are a Married/Felon?

Check this NYtimes article if you can. Straight dating service, True.com thinks it's pretty special. Their politics don't really matter because people can use whatever damn site they want to hookup, however, they're pretty popular (rivalling match.com and yahoo personals), they're using sticky marketing tricks to make a lot of money, and they say that they contribute to online dating safety when they actually don't (because anyone can fake it).

My criticisms are brief. True brags that they "prosecute felons and marrieds." First of all, even if you are "separated" or have a pending divorce, forget about finding any True hotties. Second, what if you have negotiated with your husband/wife/registered spouse that it's okay to get in other people's beds, even the beds of other marrieds? Answer: find another dating pool (which will be cheaper than the 50 bucks a months True charges).

Okay, the felon part is really disturbing. I can understand some of the rationale behind corporate types wanting to cover their asses by booting folks from their site with sexual offenses, but what if you are a robber, a frauder, a runnaway? You need love too. But, as it stands, True doesn't care: "We can't guarentee that criminals won't get on our site, but we can quarentee that they'll be sorry they did."

I can see it now:
Felon: I was just trying to get a date, get some love and rejoin society. I've been in jail so long.
True/cop/law: You have endangered everyone on the internet. You must be punished.

Wouldn't it make more sense to work on protecting online daters from things they're more likely to be dealing with, like STDs, heartbreak and empty wallets?

Dodgeball. In your face.

Your Friends. Friends of Friends. Crushes. I'm not sure where to start with this one. Dodgeball, a google toy, is a networking site for mobile phones.

First off, you can send messages to your friends. So, I can usually handle texting my friends myself, but this feature adds a middlemachine to relay your texts to everyone on your friends list. (or the ones you set to receive messages online). It goes like this (pretend I'm billy): "Hey I'm at Clooney's," to 30 people's phones.

The friends of friends feature alerts you (by text) when you are within 10 blocks of any friends of friends. You'll get a message that says something like: "Billy is at Clooney's. You know him through Jill."

The crushes feature allows you to select up to five people (only five because they "are not a brothel") that you have a crush on. You select them from the Dodgeball site. Then when they are within 10 blocks of you, you will get a text message that says: "Billy is at Clooney's. He has a crush on you. Valencia at 25th"). And, if you are able to receive pictures on your phone, you'll get one of the person who is crushing on you.

Oh, I should say, Dodgeball works in 22 cities, and you can change your city as you travel. You can also find venues by texting in the name to "DODGE" or 36343.

To tell or not to tell, Divine Caroline asked me

For what it's worth I'm sharing this interview that a school pal of mine who writes for Divine Caroline did with me. The article appears on in the Body & Soul/Staying Healthy Section, and is called "How to get a piece of mind before getting a piece of tail." Honestly I had no idea that I was actually writing this much of the article, so many of my words that I never thought I would see in print are there. It's fine. The one part I would change however is the question about HIV disclosure. I originally had an extra sentence on the end that was cut out by an editor...it said something to the effect that I don't actually feel comfortable making recommendations to folks who are HIV-positive and are planning on disclosing, mostly because I have not been in that situation. (Hold your horses, that doesn't I've had every STD in the book either!)

I also thought the interview was a good way to spread the word about InSPOT, one way to tell any anonymous partners you have that they may have been exposed to something. Blogging about InSPOT has actually increased a little since a few months ago. Check this technorati chart:InSPOT per day for the last 30 days.

Get your own chart!

Screw with M4M-world, or else!

So I have a membership to M4M-World , a gay men's hookup/sex site. Yesterday I get this message from Steven Alexander, the director, and it totally creeped me out. I totally agree that adding extra insurances into your hookup site is a great idea, and whatever they come up with to verify some strand of legitimacy to their members I'm all for...I'm just surprised he's marketing the feature in this way. Is the possibility of turning into a bloody pulp going to make you want to go get it on with strangers? See below (complete with spelling errors):

"It is one of my worst nightmares. I have dreamt about it maybe a dozen times since I founded this dating site back in 1997. It always the same...I am sleeping. It is hot--mid summer...suddenly there is a loud knock at the front door. My dogs start barking and I look out the second story window from above down to the front portico below. There are two cops holding up a body of a man, slumped at the knees. I wonder "Is he a drunk? Do I know him? Is he a tresspasser?" I rush down the stairs through the center hall, to the front foyer and than through the wrought iron and glass French front door I now see a man badly beaten, barely breathing, dripping blood from his head. I am puzzled and horrified at once. And one of the cops starts screaming at me -- "Open up and tell us his name" "you are you responsible for this" "where does he live, we must tell his mother". I plead "but I don't know him I have never..." and I stop mid-sentence because the man's lips beging to move and he whispers "I just wanted to be with someone for a while, I really didn't do anything, why do they hate me?" I start crying. The man stops talking....stops breathing. I wake up.

Meeting men on line can be a lot a fun, it can be done quickly, but it has risks beyond those that come when you pick someone up in a club or bar. There are no witnesses and you don't always have the opportunity to meet in a public place. And I realize it can be a turn off to give the guy the 4th degree . A legit guy begins to wonder why are you so suspicious? Or he might be very smooth and talk you out of your fears. That's what happened in the sad tale of Michael J. Sandy when using a dating site (not m4m--Google his name in quotes to read his fate).

So listen...it's not just those awful dreams...I really care and worry that the men on m4m date safely. And that's why we developed member feedback currently beta marketed as the Player's Club. (There is a contest to find a new name....you have had email's on that). We created member feedback not as a popularity contest and not to learn who sleeps around and who does not get any... we put it into place so you know who has an honest ad and who has integrity in keeping their word and showing up. But in fact by giving and receiving feedback you help other members determine who's
-ad is accurate
-photos are current
-not a flake and show's up
-active on the site
-a safe bet for a hook-up!

--- After all even if a guy has an accurate ad and shows up, no one leaves positive feedback for men with evil intentions!

So leave feedback when you meet someone---even if it's just for a coffee---it tells others he is real, he is honest, he is safe. And he will return the favor! And watch your email for a very special invitation later this month. It will admit you to a new concept in online hook-ups...something we know you have not experienced before. Steven AlexanderSite Directorm4m-World.com"

So, in other words, use M4M-World and you won't get hurt. How's that for scare tactics?

Can you think of other ways to ensure that the folks you meet online are legit?

Black books...let's count!

I used to try and keep a running tally of everyone I've ever made out with. A good friend of mine had been trying all her kissing life to kiss someone with a first name starting with each letter of the alphabet. For her this meant once grabbing a cab driver in New York named Xavier and giving him some tongue to snag that hard to reach X. Regardless, I lost count of my own alphbetical kisses. So, my little black book could have helped me. So its for listing when you do-it, but hey, it would have helped me count how many letters I have left.

Another little black book program can be downloaded at Californiamen.net, a non-cruisy place for gay and queer guys who hookup online. This little black book takes it one step further and includes a basic risk assessment. If you record an encounter that oversteps your self-defined risk level, you are sent a kind reminder to get and STD or HIV check.

What's helpful about both of these is that you can list all sorts of info about your conquests, including their phone number, email etc. If you're a happy hussy that could come in handy if you ever get an STD and need to do the courteous thing...tell them.

So, how did your date go Area Man?

Were you surprised when you got yours?

It surprises me that more people aren't blogging about inSPOT. At least I thought there would be some bloggers out there willing to write about receiving an inspot e-card. I guess that's also the beauty of it... if you get one of these puppies, no body has to know.

Spread the word folks. Take care of your hookups with many different cards to choose from. Telling them in person, or even testing together may be good choices too (right?), but if you have a lot of anonymous sex that just may be impossible.

Posts that contain Inspot per day for the last 30 days:

Get your own chart!