Fake friends really helped me get laid

A recent New York Times article titled "Too Few Friends? A Web Site Lets You Buy Some (and They’re Hot)" takes a gander at some grand/gross ideas for managing your online networks, which in reality (I guess this is reality) might make me sad if they ended up popular.

Bright idea #1: fakeyourspace.com lets you buy MySpace, Facebook, Consumating and Friendster friends for $.99 a month. You can even see which "friends" have been bought the most times...and are therefore more guaranteed to help you get popular. You can even have a fake friend pretend that they are dating you by sending all sorts of messages/comments. Hmmm. The last time I logged into MySpace there were three friend requests from fake profiles trying to befriendme for free. Are these services really necessary? View a few of my fake friends here: Autumn and Red Hot'n'Sexy Tommy's chicks. Or check out this great story about kicking some fake-friend ass by blogger Micheal D. If you really think that having hot friendsters will make you popular, why not create profiles of fake people by yourself and make them virtually fawn over you?...at least it would be more creative.

Bright ideas #2: MobileAlibi.com lets you select a time to be called so that you can exit unsavory situations. You can choose from Chris or Samantha's voice. The problem is, when I tried to test it out, it wouldn't work. Popularitydialer.com offers a similar service. They also suggest that recieving calls in public or while on a date can actually improve your popularity because others overtly or inadvertantly listen in. In their own words: "Have you ever been in a situation where you wished your cell phone would ring? Maybe you wanted to look extra important or popular on that hot date. Or maybe you just needed an excuse to escape from an unpleasant meeting." If my new date answered their cell phone during our date and chatted with someone else because they tought it would make me like them more...I'd go home and have a beer by myself.

And lastly, the same people that brought you Fakeyourspace.com, now offer Breakyourspace.com. Now you can easily break up with any or all of your online friends and avoid the pain of doing it yourself. My favorite part of the site is a little FAQ: "Can I break up with my significant other?" Answer: "Yes you can. While although we do not recommend using our service as a means for breaking up any of your real life relationships, we do provide the service." The redeeming quality about Breakyourspace is that you can choose a themed messenger to deliver the bad news. My favorites by far are: "I want a divorce," featuring a broken wedding band, "I'm suing your ass," featuring a little wooden gavel and "I blame you," with some lovely finger pointing.